Introducing the Fash Fatigue Chronicles
Before spring break, I spotted a particular response in a dataset about sexual assault. Because I knew the language and the markers, I helped my bosses spot the ideology known as incel. My bosses presented their annual findings and mentioned the need to have more insight into misogynistic groups on campus. After their presentation, I addressed the president of my university and told him the ways we needed to be better.
I also urged the president to be on alert for the kind of extremism on campus that comes wrapped in the American flag.
I thought for sure I would be reprimanded for too outspoken. When an admin gave me a fist bump, I said, “I’m just lucky I graduate this semester!” I very strongly critiqued the president in front of an audience of policy makers and admins. I’ve learned early on that speaking truth to power often does not go well.
I snuck out quietly and felt grateful for one thing. This is my last semester before I graduate and there’s not much they can do to me, should they feel I’ve overstepped. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The legal team at my university’s Title IX office has asked me to educate them on the Proud Boys and ways to detect and combat far right threats.
What prompted me to begin this series.
I started working on this presentation today. As I searched for best martyr image to open my presentation, and hopefully, denaturalize White Nationalist extremism, I thought two things.
One…
If I was not on some already on some sort of watchlist, the mutliple searches for “martyr” and “martrydom“or “shaheed testimonial” videos will definitely put me on there.
Two…
Is this one of those things that only I find funny? If I shared how funny I thought this scenario was, or the absurdity of the types of concerns I have as a countering violent extremism researcher, would people laugh? Would they be alarmed? Would they say as they’ve said before, “Jesus Christ?! How do you do it?!” To which I’d reply, “By laughing at stuff like this, I guess.”
The point is, you’ve got to try to find the humor where you can.
You also have to notice when you’re about to move from the casual news reading phase to the infoglut phase where you forgot what your original intention was when you turned your laptop on.
Introducing the Fash Fatigue Chronicles
Last week, I talked about what Fash Fatigue is, how it can manifest itself and how important it is for people to reach out for support and be there to support others doing this work.
I am happy to share what I’m working through and hopefully model what self care (of a non consumerist variety) looks like, in the hopes that it can help others. Efficacy, self care and finding your way out of the work is the emotional triage you need to combat fash fatigue.
Efficacy
By thinking of your “done lists” more than your to do lists, you get to take stock of your work and develop a sense of efficacy.
So, despite fash fatigue, I’ve…
Begun working with an awesome coder to ensure my map and dashboard are fully web based so I can officially launch the proudboyswhisperer website.
Had a deep conversation with self proclaimed non active member of the Proud Boys, or “Proud Boys Emeritus.” He is increasingly becoming more concerned with the actions of Canadian Proud Boys. I like him and how, with a little distance, he is beginning to become more aware of the hidden function of the group and it’s potential to act as a radicalization vector.
I took a small break from domestic extremism research to write the findings from campus sexual assault data. You know…the lighthearted stuff. what was most interesting in this data set is how frequently students framed sexual assault as a function of security issues, as if better lighting could fix the societal conditions that make rape more likely to occur.
Personal Enrichment and Self Care
Having information and not knowing how it can be put to good use, or if it will be listened to can be frustrating.
When those feelings of, “Oh my god, anyone even listening?” start rolling in, I grab a book.
I love reading. Outside of dancing, nothing makes me happier than going to my favorite coffee shop with a book. I’ve been trying to read more fiction, but I love historical nonfiction. I just finished Charlie Wilson’s War. It’s a true account of one of the last major battlegrounds of the cold war. It’s a story so fantastical it reads like a work of fiction. I appreciated the book so much that parts of it made it’s way into my comprehensive exams.
When you read about proxy wars, you begin to understand who benefits most from conflict. For example, if you are the leader of a country like Saudi Arabia who wants to prevent the next Arab spring and combat the evils of modernism, pitting people against one another and reinforcing in group membership becomes an effective strategy.
As fascinating as this book was, it is still somewhat related to my research. In terms of leaving the work, it’s kind of cheating. Contextualizing my research further is not bad, but it is quite different from exiting the work.
Finding Your Way Out of the Work
I started training on a new pro am routine with the director of my dance company. I’ve been wanting to challenge myself more this year and reach a new level of dancing. Self care for me, is making it to practice and putting in the work. For me, it’s reconnecting with the things I enjoy that have nothing to do with my work. Sometimes it’s putting on a song and just moving in my room, which I’ve been doing fairly regularly for the past year.
So I have my concerns, I need this Title IX presentation to be good because I need people to listen. I need people in positions of power to heed warnings and prevent what is preventable and respond effictively to what is not.
Tonight though, I also need to shut off my laptop and enjoy my weekend.
If you would like to show your support, and assist in a data driven rebuttal toclaims of white supremacy being an “academic myth,” consider becoming a patron today. A dollar goes a long way.
If you geek out on far right research, stay tuned for this Sunday’s conversation with Daniel Harper on “I Don’t Speak German,” where Daniel and I will compare notes on our encounters with Proud Boys.
Until next week!
